Metal Gear – Boss Rush Mode

Metal Gear Solid Delta: Snake Eater Finally Announced

Pigs have flown, hell has frozen over, it is the twelfth of never, and Metal Gear is fucking back. Still no Bloodborne, though.

Konami, much maligned publisher and holder of many a squandered intellectual property, have finally announced the worst kept secret in video games: Metal Gear Solid Delta: Snake Eater, a remake of the 2004 (ouch) classic, Metal Gear Solid 3. The reveal trailer shows Naked Snake in all his muddy, bi-ocular glory. It’s him. It’s really him.

Releasing on Playstation, Xbox and PC(!) Konami are being joined in development by Virtuos (no relation to the Virtuous Mission) developers who have previously worked on the excellent remaster of Final Fantasy X/X-2 and the recent, somewhat disappointing remaster of The Outer Worlds, as well as several ports of games such as XCOM 2 and Nier Automata.

Surprising basically nobody, Konami have confirmed that series creator and narcissist auteur Hideo Kojima will not be involved in the development process after his dramatic exit from Konami around the release of Metal Gear Solid V: The Phantom Pain. Kojima has previously gone on record saying that as long as there are fans of Metal Gear, new games will be made without him, and while I don’t exactly have the greatest faith in Konami after the abomination that was Metal Gear Survive, released images of familiar environments from the original upgraded for modern systems look promising.

I can’t wait to see Ocelot fall in love here

Sadly, regular artistic contributor Yoji Shinkawa will also be absent from development, but given that he is currently working with Kojima at Kojima Productions, perhaps this isn’t a huge surprise.

Wisely choosing not to mess with success, the original voice acting has been retained. While I would enjoy a fresh take on the material, the original performances were totally perfect and any recasting would probably be met with hostility from the fanbase. That, and this game was developed twenty years ago (ow ow OW) so many of the original actors ageing would be noticeable by now.

I do *kind of* want more Kiefer Sutherland’s Snake, though.

Though the remake may be a ways off, fellow Metal Gear fans won’t have to wait long for more content. Konami have also announced “Volume 1” of the Metal Gear Solid Master Collection, a bundle of the first five games from the series, set to release this Autumn. That’s Metal Gear, Metal Gear 2: Solid Snake, Metal Gear Solid, Metal Gear Solid 2: Sons of Liberty, and Metal Gear Solid 3: Snake Eater. Hopefully this is basically a re-release of the Metal Gear Solid HD Collection which included the updated Substance/Subsistence versions of 2&3. This is great for accessibility, as all of these games were removed from circulation back in 2021. The more people that get to play these classics, the better! Here’s hoping a Volume 2 containing later games in the series is soon to follow, as Metal Gear Solid 4: Guns of the Patriots is still locked as a PS3 exclusive, and as much as I love this series I’m not setting up my huge original PS3 every time I get the urge to see Solid Snake with a moustache.

If this remake does well, can we expect more Delta edition remakes in the future? I sure hope so. Metal Gear fans are finally (snake) eating again, but time will tell if we’re eating a Calorie Mate or a rotten python. Or a tree frog.

It’s Not Okay to Support Metal Gear Survive

You may recall a couple of years ago there was a certain amount of hubbub surrounding Hideo Kojima’s departure from publisher Konami. The Metal Gear mastermind was rumoured to have been forced to conclude work on Metal Gear Solid V: The Phantom Pain before his vision was fully realised, was denied permission to attend award shows recognising his work on the unfinished game, and had his name physically removed from the box art and promotional images… Not that it was missing much in the game itself, but can you blame the guy for splashing his name wherever possible after Konami pulled a fucking damnatio memoriae?

stalin — To be clear, Konami is Stalin in this equation.

The public was given no idea of the basis for any of this mistreatment. From the sound of it Kojima slept with Mr. Konami’s wife, or spent hundreds of thousands of dollars to hire a major Hollywood actor to say five words. That second one may be a little far-fetched, but whatever happened between these two parties doesn’t really matter, does it? Konami’s behaviour spoke volumes, and hey, it still does!

pt_4 — Did I forget to mention cancelled horror darling Silent Hills?

New Metal Gear game, guys! Oh, but it doesn’t involve Hideo Kojima, and it takes all of the most insufferable trends from recent video games, forces them into a sacred cow before setting it on fire and kicking it down the stairs. Metal Gear Survive is Konami’s first (and god willing, last) attempt at making a game in the series without the involvement of the man himself, and no, I’m not counting Snake’s Revenge. Shut up.

Zombies? Of course! A crafting system? Hell, kids these days love the Minecrafts! Shove it in! You want co-op? No? Fuck you, you get AI team-mates! Microtransactions? Oh, you bet your well-lubricated asshole. Bend over bitch, it’s time to play a Triple-A video game. Is any of this setting off any alarm bells? Can you hear me? Hello? You’ve been in a coma for nine years Boss, it’s time to let go. Please. We love you.

GettyImages-477514725-575c9ba03df78c98dc86939d — Hm? You’re a representative from Special K? Oh. Oh, I see.

Oh, no, I’m sorry. I have just received a substantial wad of cash from an unnamed party. What I meant to say is that Metal Gear Survive deserves a chance, and you are a whiny entitled fanboy if you think otherwise. I bet you hated DmC, you filthy gamer. Go back to your mom’s basement and… No, no NO I CAN’T DO THIS! THIS NEEDS TO CHANGE! WE NEED TO BREAK FREE OF THIS FUCKING NIGHTMARE! OH GOD THEY’RE AT MY DOOR THEY’RE IN MY FUCKING HOUSE PLEASE DON’T LET THE-

I need to be as clear with you as possible on this – Konami is the Japanese EA. They love money. They love Pachinko, and they love money. The Metal Gear series was denied a dignified end, but we can shorten its suffering by not cramming money into its bloated corpse. Even if this game ends up being halfway entertaining, it’s not worth it. Konami do not deserve it, Kojima (probably) does not deserve it, do not support Konami. DO NOT SUPPORT KONAMI. Please, god.

Do not support Metal Gear Survive. You sell your soul to the devil for legendary guitar prowess, not mild ukelele proficiency.

Here’s to you.

TGS 2017 Playstation Conference Reveals Left Alive and Some Other Stuff

This year’s Tokyo Game Show is officially underway, kicking off with the Playstation conference. A fairly subdued affair, for the most part- We got another look at the Shadow of the Colossus PS4 remaster, Monster Hunter World finally got a release date (January 2018) along with a fancy limited edition PS4 Pro, Zone of the Enders is getting another remaster with additional VR support (yay?) Final Fantasy IX is coming out again for the seventh or eighth time… But who gives a shit about any of that stuff. A new mech game directed by Toshifumi Nabeshima of the Armored Core series, robots designed by industry mech-specialist Takayuki Yanase and characters designed by Yoji Shinkawa of Metal Gear Solid fame is coming out next year.

The trailer may not give us much to go on, but if a game with such incredible talent behind it isn’t enough reason to get hype, I don’t know what is. Left Alive is currently slated for release on PS4 AND PC (hell yes) at some point in 2018.

If nothing else, the poster art helps me pretend that Metal Gear isn’t completely dead in the water.

LEFT_ALIVE_Title_Announcement_Artwork01_1505808737

Man, fuck Konami. NO, I’M NOT OVER IT.